So…very recently I discovered my sister has my profile up on a Muslim matrimonial website…secretly ALL this time…without my knowledge AND consent…how siblingioushly sneaky of her!!! I know deep down inside she truly has all the good intentions behind her mission so I won't pick on her…not this time…well for starters I'm glad someone "youthful" stepped up to this challenge to help bring single Muslim boys and girls together, contrary to old-fashion match-making practices mishandled by bored, clueless and socially-awkward middle-aged desi aunties. Don't get me wrong, I respect anyone who willingly steps forward in making marriages happen, it's self-rewarding but by no means an easy job…it takes a certain level of awareness, perseverance, idealism, logic, creativity, and soul-fullness paired with ahelluvalotta patience + a prescription of Xanax…in short attributes lacking in many match-makers I've had the pleasure of dealing with. Instead they treat this act of kindness like it's some sort of a business transaction to add fuel to their petty cash fund…well wouldn't it be nice if finding the right person was ONLY that simple!!! So I'm thinking finally someone young, fresh, informed and non-money motivated individual like my sister resurfaces to bring life to an otherwise hope-less venture for many single desi women out there...why wouldn't it work, riiite? So get this, she refers to herself as "The Hitch" of Facebook…the "Love Guru" of the web…do you think match-making is a talent you're born with much like art or music? I think so, I call it the "art of pairing"! And I know I certainly don't have it…I mean if I was to pair up people, they'd think I was socially retarded, I'd make more enemies than Fidel Castro…they'd put a bounty on my head…oh okay maybe not so much cruelty…but I'd suck ROYALLY… oh well…so prior to my sister launching her latest venture, I was seriously questioning and debating the so-called "profession" of match-making especially in our desi culture. Of course the contemplation cultivated as a result of several failed attempts of professional match-making I've experienced over the last years. I seriously ponder if desi-aunty match-making can work on a professional level. What do YOU think? Are you willing to trust someone you barely know to possibly and successfully match you with your soul mate all based on information provided on a given application? Do you really think the mechanics of it works like fitting pieces of a puzzle together…logically not spiritually? Do you think there is/isn't logic to it after all? Do you think it's fair to choose whom you wish to speak to or not speak to based on a picture and a profile? What if someone just takes good pictures at the end of the day. I mean do your pictures reflect your true colors? What if we're passing on the right person by saying no to a bad picture and considering all the wrong options by saying yes to good pictures? I mean close your eyes and think of someone, lets say a guy you know of, whose pictures don't do him justice yet in reality his dynamic personality makes him an irresistibly attractive man you would have undeniably given a chance to any day…but…would you have after looking at only his picture? Are we being fair to ourselves by limiting our perception to pictures and profiles as a means to decide whom we wish to spend the rest of our lives with? I mean think of our typical desi profile: my name - ____; my age - ____ ; my height - ____ (minus 3 inches fo shizzle); my mother's name - ____; my father's name - ____; my mother's occupation - ____ (who cares); my father's occupation - ____ ; my grandfather's name - ____ (puh-leeeaze); my grandmother's name - ____ (dude I barely remember my own grandma's name, u kidding me); my grandfather's occupation - ____ (STOP!!!); my great grandmother-- (it's hurting now); my brother's name - ____ (Jezuz); my brother's wife's occupation - ____ (I think I'm seeing dead people now); my heritage - ____ (human-oid-ish???); here's my FAVorite one my interests - ____ (includes down-to-earth [huh?], biking, reading, music, cycling, going out with friends, movies, skiing, sky diving, scuba diving, mountain climbing, hiking, horse riding, rock climbing, swimming, white-water rafting, diving [it's like a hyper-caffeinated-buzzed-up Michael Phelps])…oh wait…I forgot "Opera"…Opera? OOOOOpera? what the f**k!!! Did you just say Opera? Dude, you're desi, we don't listen to no Opera...stop humiliating yourself…!!! Oh Oh wait…and have you noticed all their sisters are always married…with kids…and they're like 16 no more than 22…??? Why is that so??? Am I the only sister around that defies the norm here sir??? I mean seriously…so let me ask you again, can you really decide based on this information + a Glamour Shot that he may be THE ONE??? Has it ever occurred to you that he's only telling you what he knows you'd LIKE to see on paper? I mean doesn't this ALL seem a bit too superficial to you? Outdated maybe? I mean…haven't we come a long ways to realize this is all too shallow for our times??? That maybe, just maybe, we need to progress towards more innovative ways and encourage more "open" and candid means to get to know each other on a personal level than having to rely on what's on paper. That maybe in this day and age, old tricks should be abandoned and no longer put to use for they only push as behind on the timeline and depreciate our mentality further. If we remain dependent on old-school methods, we won't adapt to new times and the reality is that times have changed and so have we and so have our needs. I'm the new woman who doesn't lack means to support myself, socially, financially, spiritually and mentally, and what I need from my man cannot be reflected via any data on a piece of paper, in all honesty! I want to be taken care of, provided for, I wish to be respected, loved, trusted, but most of all I want to be mentally and intellectually stimulated, how can I possibly conclude that from an already "filtered" profile??? Am I looking in all the wrong places for a BRAINgasm???!!!
I believe good things that are meant to be come to you when the time is right...catch you by suprise...in the moment/time/place you least expect it...when you are ready for it but not necessarily searching too hard for it...so you don't miss out on the present...you acknowledge it, say it, tell the universe sorta way...and let God work His magic...wait for fate to come around the corner...I for one would like to stumble upon the moment by chance...
signed: Thinker-Bell
