A gReAtEr PuRpOsE

So why do things happen the way they happen? I think that is pretty much the same as asking someone the meaning of life? I think the cliché answer or should I say the safe answer is always…it was just meant to be…really I think that is your friend’s honest way of saying you know what I have no friggin idea but I expect you to tell me the same exact thing next week when I am having a crisis cuz even though it means nothing and only offers the temporary, false reassurance that everything is going to be alrite somehow it makes sense! Okay so perfect example…I was sitting at the coffee shop the other day engrossed in my books studying for a board exam which btw is the story of my life…ive been in school for as long as I can remember and I don’t know how much longer I have…it seems to get longer every year. Anyway so I am sitting there taking my occasional people watching breaks…and there is a guy and girl who have been sitting across from me for quite some time…he was studying something and she was helping him…they would take little breaks and have a conversation every once in a while…she would flirt with him in a subtle way…he responded positively…so I thought how sweet she is helping him out hoping that he would notice how hopelessly in love she is with him…then a song comes on and she says “ohh I love this song” and he responds “oh yea the girl im talking to likes this song too”…her facial expression changes completely but in order to hide that her heart just hit the floor she composes herself and responds almost too enthusiastically “oh you met someone”…he gets all excited…his tone changes as he talks about this new girl going on as if she just doesn’t exist…come on he had to have known that she wasn’t just going to give him her whole Saturday because she is nice…I mean all the signs were there how could he not have noticed…who on their free Saturday goes and sits at a coffee shop with someone who is studying just to stare at them…I mean I have studied my entire life and am still at it…so no one knows better than me how excruciatingly painful it is and how it would be even worse giving someone company while they torture themselves …and she just listens to him as he goes on with the occasional and respectable “ohh how nice” squeezed in…*sigh* in my head I hear the song by alanis morisette isn’t it ironic…its like meeting the man of your dreams…and his beautiful wife….I couldn’t have been more sad for her…was it just meant to be… …hmm…so why did that happen the way it did??

Ok so I moved to NYC about a year ago for school…I never thought I would have moved around as much as I have within the last three years of my life…I even went to a small island in the Caribbean for school….before you get all excited…I don’t mean an island getaway…I’m talking bout straight up third world…the side of the island you don’t see because you never leave the confines of your resort…flies in your food…no real stores…no fast food…the skinniest cows you have ever seen standing in the middle of the road…some days the cows even chase you down the road…cant even make that up…yes they chase you…you have to put one foot in front of the other really really fast…I was there for almost two years and every day felt like the longest day of my life…

Well I made it through that time in my life as well…really haven’t figured out why I had to go through it yet. I guess I’m supposed to fill some greater purpose…at least that’s what I tell myself to get through the day…maybe that’s why things happen the way they do…for some greater purpose…hmmm…

signed: Macky