a NeW dAy!!!

So…I know I have been a slacker blogger lately. And it's not because I don't have anything to write about. It's just you know I feel like I'm at a point in my life where the monotony of it is catching up to me…gradually. I'm a fairly optimistic person who lives and breathes in the present moment and always manages to keep myself occupied. Lately, though, I feel like I'm beginning to lose control of the real me and letting boredom consume me. I HATE being in a state of restlessness. It fuels an idle mind and you know what they say about an idle mind: it is the devil's workshop. And my workshop is a magnet for random thoughts…at times useless ones too…thoughts which tend to drain positive energy out of your mind. See…I've always managed to live the present moment to its fullest and not really worry too much about what lies ahead for me. I believe the decisions we make today lay the foundation for our future…doesn't mean I don't plan ahead of time or indulge in savings at all…I do but I don't allow myself to get caught up in the uncertainties of the future. I'm a GIRL OF THE PRESENT TIME! I've always believed things happen for a reason and if you tread forward in life with just some faith, you'll be surprised how life unveils itself to you in all the right places at the right time. For that reason, I have, on most occasions, remained optimistic about life, myself, where I am now and where I am heading, always with hope and never bearing a single shred of doubt about my right to be happy and content. So now that I find myself stuck in this moment of helplessness, I'm slowly beginning to lose my grip on reality and hope…each day. First, I'm tired of where I work. I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over again for 4 years…looking at the same faces each day for the last 4 years…attending the same intense but pointless meetings each day for the last 4 years…all that minus any progression. I'm not sure how I allowed myself to get caught up in this web of monotony…I have never managed to stay at one job for more than two years…I'm an addict for bigger and better things. Going back to when I first got this job, I must admit it was a dream job in many ways. I LOVED the people I worked with. I was envious of my CEO, a thirty-something woman, who came up the ranks of middle class America, worked her way through the same corporate bullshit until finally breathing in some guts to start a successful venture of her own. To draw you a picture of where I worked, our office was a spacious, NY-style loft amidst the artsy district of Houston. Techno/Dance beats played all day long (music from all over the world from Claude Challe, DJ Tiesto to David Guetta and Danii Minogue)…FREE grocery (YES! you asked for anything on the grocery list and it was delivered to you every week)…every other Friday off…a fully-stocked kitchen to show-off your cooking talents…crazy fun happy hours and team building events (picnics at the park, bus rides to the theatre, volunteering at local charity events, lunch massages)…on any given day, the CEO could halt the work day at 5pm and walk us over to one of the nearby restaurants for a quick drink and a fresh breeze! The company was progressive and well reputed in the industry…we were honored amongst Fortune 50 companies and ranked highest in lists like The Fastest Growing Companies and Best Places To Work At. What I did? Maybe not too challenging…however required a level of discipline and tenacity I managed to look forward to and celebrate every day. The best feature of all was the team I worked with… we worked extremely well with each other in spite of our eccentricities…there was sportsmanship and mutual respect amongst everyone and a sense of loyalty and commitment. Most of all, I made two very special friends right here…at this place…hopefully for a lifetime! All the elements factored in my decision to remain employed at this company over the years. It was a place where you felt just downright COMFORTABLE…yes, I want to talk about COMFORT…because it is exactly what is pushing me out the door now. See when I felt COMFORTABLE at this place, I knew I'd be here for a while. COMFORT was healthy until the luxury of it sucked me in big time…to an extent I became immune to a structured schedule… as long as I enjoyed walking into a place for 10+ hours a day, I felt I had nothing else to worry about…spoiled…gradually…no headaches…I mean every other day you'd face a challenge to keep you going yet in the end, you knew exactly what to expect on your typical day…no belittling surprises…the feeling promotes a healthy life outside of work you know…you don't take home the unnecessary headache of a job with you…so it was a relief to have a steady, healthy, thriving, fun work day…then came stagnancy…you realized albeit a typical day at work wasn't a bumpy roller coaster ride, but from time to time, you craved to slip or fall or hit a wall to put those cells in your grey matter in motion so you can pick yourself up…give yourself a challenge…a chance to replenish your strengths…fuel your motivation level…inspire personal growth… all the right ingredients to a better ME…yet at the same time, COMFORT was too tough to let go of…unfortunately now I realize COMFORT is the sole cause of my restlessness...for it depleted me of all the right ingredients…what was I thinking??? I let myself be so consumed with COMFORT, I almost lost the desire to grow…it's killing me…to feel this way…the very essence of the company which inspired me to come work here now makes me want to leave the place…I HATE this comfort…I HATE the free food…I HATE fun parties…nothing seems to motivate me anymore…every day I want to wiggle out of my bubble…there are days I just want to YELL…LOUD. Isn't if funny? What I loved about my life only a few years back I despise now!!! Tells you life is indeed full of 180-degree surprises. BUT since I'm a fairly optimistic person who lives and breathes in the present moment to create my future and believes everything happens for a reason, I'm willing to approach this outlook from a more positive perspective. Just like success one moment can turn into failure the next, you should be nothing but hopeful a failure today can and will only turn into a success next, right??? So the way I look at life is it's never really that bad…you may think now is your worst moment…which means…it's only going to get better from here… after darkness, there's always light…everything in life is connected, one moment only leads to another…your worst now will push out the best in you later…some day in the future you'll be sipping your morning coffee smiling at today, hell you needed to be here today to be there tomorrow, right???!!! So…here's a little breakfast recipe for you to consume every morning you wake up (helps me with my sanity): A dose of patience, perseverance, hope and faith every day will keep the bad juju away!!! Here's CHEERS…to a new day!!!

signed: Thinker-Bell